


Frayed At The Ends

by spookumswitch



Category: Sci-Fi - Fandom, Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars The Force Awakens, The Force Awakens - Fandom
Genre: Ben Solo Needs A Hug, F/M, he listens to mcr bullets, he's an extra bitch, nothing kicks off a cute first date like amputation, when ben leaves the sith it doesnt mean he'll lose his goth fashion
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-06-14
Updated: 2018-06-14
Packaged: 2019-05-23 04:22:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,541
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14927063
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/spookumswitch/pseuds/spookumswitch
Summary: After Admiral Holdo cut through Snoke’s ship at light speed the throne room was left in shambles. Unfortunately Ben collapses underneath a piece of falling debris that severs his arm. As he slowly bleeds out on the throne room floor Rey is left with his life in her hands.





	Frayed At The Ends

**Author's Note:**

> I love Ben with all my heart so I don't know why I keep injuring him in all my fics. Oh well. I started working on this about five months ago and I finally fucking finished it so I hope you lovely readers enjoy it.

I awoke with a start, desperately drawing gasps of smoke into my lungs, only to cough it up a second later. The years spent on Jakku told me to get up off the floor and start running, but images of what had happened moments before blocked them off.

Ben killed Snoke. I thought we were going to escape. The hazy memory from that night in the hut rot in front of my eyes. I failed to bring him back. The lightsaber was between us. And then… the ship caught fire. “There must’ve been an explosion,” I thought as I tried to stand up, ignoring the strange ache in my arm that protested the movement. My nerves snapped open when one thought ran through my head. “Where’s Ben?”

Blood was pounding in my ears with every prolonged second that was spent searching for him, for any sign he had survived the blast. It shot through my head like a prayer, repeating over and over again as I scanned the burning throne room. When I saw him across from me he was slumped on the ground with his back turned, his hair splayed and blocking his face from sight. A sigh of relief nearly escaped my throat before the ringing in my ears ceased and I heard his distant whimpers of agony.

“Ben!” I shouted over the sound of falling debris. My muscles screamed in protest when I tried to stand on two feet, though with how badly my limbs were shaking, I was left crawling towards the dark shape across from me. The throne room was in shambles, with the walls crumbling and the floor littered with fire, but even with that all I could comprehend was the panic I felt for the person who tried to kill me.

When I crossed the miles between us I could barely breathe, let alone speak. But the fear that fueled me turned smoke into adrenaline. He was still turned on his side to me, yet I continued nonetheless. “Are you okay!? Ben, please tell me what’s wrong!” Muffled cries of agony still left his throat despite my pleas. With shaking fingers, I grabbed hold of his clothes and turned him to face me.

His hand was clamped down over a bleeding socket where his arm once was.

My stomach dropped when I saw it. Blood was seeping from layers of fleshy tissue at an alarming rate, pouring out into a puddle on the floor. Bone was sticking out from the center of the socket in jagged points. A stinging bile rose in my throat when I saw it, but I clamped my hand down on my lips and forced the sickness down. Ben’s eyes were glossy with tears, shining with an unreadable pain.

“Ben, oh gods, I don’t know… I don’t know what to do!” I cried, my chest tightening, lungs swelling with needles. Amidst the panic between us I began thinking back to my days on Jakku.

There was a woman I would polish scraps with back at the outpost named Tu’mae who had lost her hand in a scavenging accident. One day I asked her how it happened, and how she survived. She said that it was crushed under the weight of a decayed AT-AT generator. She was trying to pull the valuable power grid out from underneath the metal but hadn’t paid attention to the suspended engine. It came down and crushed her, turning every bone she had in her hand to paste. She would recall the wound with a humorous twinkle in her expansive pupils and laugh about how lucky she was to avoid infection. Tu’mae managed to get free by sawing off her hand at the wrist with her knife. And had to use her oil lighter to cauterize the wound.

The reality of what I had to do hit me all at once. I didn’t have a lighter like Tu’mae, but I had Ben’s lightsaber and it would have to do.

Kneeling in his blood, I ignited his saber, the jagged red flares reflecting in our irises and the liquid seeping into my clothes. The moment I leased the saber I felt Ben’s terror pound through my chest. We were still connected, and Ben must’ve had some idea of what I was about to do. I could almost hear his voice through the bond, begging me to stop.

I lowered the saber to the wound, and noticed Ben trying to pull away from me and made the fatal mistake of looking up into his eyes. His dark brown eyes, always so dim and ruthless, sharpened from years of abandonment and abuse were now blown black with fear shining in the red hue of his lightsaber. A tail of tears flowed freely down his cheeks, mixing with the dots of iron coating his face.

“Please…” He whispered through the bond. I hesitated only for a second. One brief moment of second-guesses. But when I shifted back to the bleeding gash I knew I had no choice.

A gory sizzle hissed off his skin when the lightsaber touched the wound, and Ben’s screams ripped from his throat. Tears streaked down our faces, his from pain and mine from his own pain.

“Oh gods, Ben I’m sorry I can’t stop!” I shouted. His twitching body lashed around until I had to hold him down with one hand and sear the gash shut with the other.

Red flesh turned flaky and his wounds were singed where the saber touched, but I wasn’t even halfway done. I can’t take it anymore, I’m going mad!

“Ben, I know this hurts but it’s the only way, please!” I cried over the sound of his screams, “We’re almost done, just hold on!” I didn’t know if I was trying to comfort him or myself.

After what felt like an eternity later, I finished. Almost like a cruel twist of fate, Ben blacked out from the pain just as I lifted the saber from his wound. His head lolling back on the ground, dark hair matted with clumps of his own blood. I fell with him, disengaging his lightsaber and collapsing on his chest. My muscles were close to snapping and I gripped the fabric of his tunic and sobbed into his stomach. I couldn’t process what was happening around me. The sounds of Ben’s screams made everything else in the galaxy seem quiet. It was like my hollowed out home on Jakku.

With strained tendons and hyperventilating lungs, I lifted myself up. Looking towards the sky I blinked the tears from my eyes, wiping the tears with the sleeve of my shirt. I wasn’t going to die here and neither was he. Not if I had anything to do with it.

I inhaled slowly through my nose and exhaled through my mouth, opening my eyes and scanning the room for a way to escape. Snoke’s ship had been destroyed in the blast, which left no easy out for Ben and I. The only way out was through the elevator we came in. If I could drag us both to an escape pod I could pilot us back.

Standing up from the slick puddle, I grabbed Ben’s remaining hand and pulled him up off the floor, nearly buckling under his weight. Moving off adrenaline alone, I moved slowly towards the door.

“Goddamnit you are not going to die here, Ben Solo! You’re- going to get out of here alive and I’ll drag you back to the fleet… then the general can deal with you!” I cursed the limp man slung around my shoulders.

The sole of my boot caught around a piece of fallen stone I hadn’t seen, allying with gravity to pull me to my knees. I tried to scream out of frustration but the noise caught in my throat, leaving only a choked sob.

I can’t afford to stop moving. I couldn’t. I wouldn’t. But with the distant noise of stormtrooper’s boots possibly heading towards the throne room I was left empty. My limbs made with icy water as my stomach pulled itself in five different directions. This must be the most scared I’ve ever been.

But then I looked back at Ben’s unconscious face, the scar I gave him trailing up his skin. He was pale from blood loss with the feint hint of a bruise beginning to form near his jawline from his fight against one of the guards. Without the steady rise and fall of his chest he would surely look like he was pushing daisies.

The troopers were coming closer, I could tell. And with one final glace towards Ben’s oblivious face, I grabbed his lightsaber and stood between the doorway and the crippled sith. If I was going to die, I would die fighting.

But then, almost as if the force had heard my pleas, the sound of thundering footsteps transformed into something different. Instead of menacing, I sounded familiar, and I spun around behind me to the glass dome. The repeated banging of a busted starfighter engine echoed through my ears and I knew It wasn’t the troopers.

The glass shattered, pieces of stone and marble crumbling around the room in wake of a beautiful banged up ship. The falcon broke into the throne room, half of it lodged in the wall and the other half hovering outside the wreckage,

I lowered the weapon as the bay doors opened, and Chewbacca strode out from the ship. Before I could get a word out he panicked and started screaming out questions a mile a minute.

“Ch- Chewie calm down, I’ll explain it on the falcon but you need to get us out of here.” I summarized, and he cocked his head. “Us?” He asked.

I stepped aside, leaning down to pull Ben up off the floor. Chewie’s face fell instantly and his furry jaw parted in shock. There was an unreadable expression in his dark eyes, but I couldn’t waste time to tell him all that had happened.

“Please Chewie, I know what you’re about to say but we can’t just leave him here to die!” The captain didn’t respond for a moment, but nodded. “Rey, I wouldn’t dream of it.” He said defiantly, walking over and relieving me of the burden. The wookie held him confidently, and without another word we moved back to the Falcon’s doors as fast as we could.

We quickly made room to set Ben down once the doors closed behind us. I shooed away two very confused porgs so Chewie could set Ben down on the booth near Djarik. He lingered on the sight of his gaping gash, murmuring while trying to make him as comfortable as possible.

“Do you know about what happened to the fleet? Is anyone even still alive?” I asked solemnly, dreading what the answer would be.

He looked back towards me, “I think so. Last I saw they were heading to that snowy planet nearby,” Chewie moved over to the dozens of hidden compartments and grabbed some spare bandages, pushing them into my arms. “we might be able to make it to them before the first order if we punch it.”

I started walking towards the cockpit, “Alright, let’s go-“

Chewie extended an arm in front of me, shaking his head. I was confused until he pointed to Ben. “I’ll fly us both there. Until then, make sure he doesn’t die.” Chewie barked pushed past me towards the pilot’s chairs (which were no doubt crawling with unattended porgs). “And maybe hide him! I don’t think the rebels will like it if Kylo Ren is being harbored on the falcon!” He spat out Ben’s first order title with a harsh venom that proved a bit of insight into the relationship the two shared.

With a slight sting in my feet I leaned down next to my… friend, and began unbuttoning his tight black ensemble. Did he have to wear so many layers? I carefully pulled off his belt and set it on the table beside me. I grabbed the left fabric wrap near his waist and lift it upwards, exposing half of his bare chest. The familiar stone fell once again to the pit of my stomach when I saw the full reality of his gash.

There was the initial sever that sliced cleanly from the end of his collarbone to the middle of his armpit. Thin cuts trickled down his arm like a river through rocks leaving beads of crimson to slowly seep from the nicks. He must’ve been standing in the wrong place when the explosion went off. Most likely a piece of sharp debris had fallen on his arm somehow and severed the limbs. A disgusted chill ran through my spine at the thought. I opted to just cover up his injury and be done with it before I make myself feel worse. He grumbled as I began wrapping the linen, which I interpreted as a good sign. It meant he wasn't dead and it was all I needed. 

While I was dressing the stump my mind began to think of Chewie and how he reacted to Ben on Snoke’s ship. Since Ben had murdered Han I thought that Chewie would hate him. I wouldn’t blame him. But now that I thought about it, Ben must mean a whole lot of Chewie. I wonder, growing up in this very ship, had the wookie and him been friends? They must have. After all, I doubt having a son would’ve stopped Han from smuggling. The thought of my short-lived mentor brought a weak smile to my face.

I tied a knot with the remaining strip of fabric around Ben’s shoulder and thought about what to do next. The reassuring rumble from the ship’s engines reminded me we were getting closer to the resistance ship. I couldn’t risk Finn or anyone else finding the First Order’s attack dog onboard my ship. I pulled Ben up with difficulty, his body no less difficult to balance. I stumbled into my room, the air heavy with empty space.

With my assistance, Ben collapsed on the bed, a hum echoing from his throat. I hoped he would stay unconscious, at least until we got to safety. My room was bare, with two shelves covered in thick layers of dust, a wardrobe without clothes, and one simple bed. It was more luxurious than anything I’d ever known until a few months ago.

I stepped towards the doorway when another soft groan from Ben stopped me in my tracks. My eyes fell on the beaten man before me. An unseen energy pulled me closer towards the bed, bending my knee to his side like a knight in a fairytale. Despite the phantom limb missing from his side, I had never seen him more peaceful. The hard scowl was gone from his features in light of a soft, scarred soldier. Carefully, I brushed a loose strand of hair behind his ear. I trailed the point of my fingertip along the metal stitches splitting his face in two, guilt spreading through my stomach while I took him in, from his scar to his arm. I did this.

“No,” I whispered to him, “I didn’t do this… they did.” They. They were the old jedi masters and the sith, Snoke and Vader and Luke, neither of us had a choice. If Ben hadn’t killed Han, Snoke would’ve broken his favorite toy. If Ben didn’t attack me I would’ve killed him. We were both pawns in this wheel of misery that trampled innocents all throughout the galaxy as it spun. First the jedi on top then the sith then the jedi then the sith… on and on it spins, and for what? All its ever done for us was lead our lives to ruin. Luke’s words echoed in the back of my mind along with the proposal Ben spoke of in that throne room. I only hoped that when Ben awoke he would find a way to forgive me.

And find a way to forgive himself.

“Rey! We’re coming up on the base!” I heard Chewie yell form the cockpit.

I jumped into action, sprinting out of the room and down to the firing deck. The dome windows of the turret blinded me as I took in the scenery. A large blanket of white snow struck with red. First order ships dotted the sky, their red lazers aimed towards grounded rebel fighters.

I slid into the torn seat, my hands gripping the triggers with shaky exhilaration. I saved Ben, I could save my friends too.  
\-------------------------------------  
Twenty. Maybe thirty rebels. That’s all the made it. From the hundreds of people fighting against the first order, only a handful made it. So many dead heroes, with one of the fallen in particular leaving a painful tension between General Leia and I. Luke had appeared to the first order as a ghostly figure, facing down Hux’s forces and bide enough time for us all to escape on the fountain.

Chewie had booked the falcon out of the system as fast as possible, setting the ship in safe hyperdrive. The rebels moved around the falcon swapping condolences with their comrades and tending to their wounds. I talked with Finn briefly before he pushed past me to tend to an unconscious girl he called Rose. She was collapsed in the corner of the room, being looked over by Finn. With a soft smile I thought of how the roles were almost reversed with me tending to Ben’s injuries in the same place as Finn. The thought of him reminded me that I needed to be more careful from this point forward. I was about to go slip into my room and be sure I locked the others from going in when Leia slowly sat down in the seat next to me. She appeared as though she hadn’t slept in days, dark circles under her eyes and a feint hue of red above them. The general and I both knew what the other was thinking about. Her brother, Luke, who had just defended us from certain death with his life.

“Luke is gone, I felt it, but… There wasn’t any pain or sadness. There was peace.” Leia nodded slowly, her brown eyes glazed over with another loss. I couldn’t imagine the burdens and responsibilities she carried on her shoulders.

“I know, I felt it too,” she whispered, moving closer to me on the bench and looking over her wounded forces.

I followed her gaze, scanning over the crowd, “how will we build a rebellion from only this?”

“With hope.” The general said with the familiar anarchistic fire burning in her throat.

We sat there in content silence for a while before Leia made some comment about checking up with Chewie and walked off towards the cockpit. Unfortunately, in my distracted state I didn’t notice Finn out of the corner of my eye jiggling the handle to my bedroom door.  
\-------------------------------------  
The world was playing out in a lucid blur; like I could see myself from far away but I could still control my actions within the dream. I was running through the forest on starkiller base, the distant sounds of the aerial dogfight over the fortress filled my ears along with the soft crunching of snow under my boots. I was searching for something. Someone. The scavenger from Jakku. The girl who bridged my mind inside the interrogation room.

“Ben?” Her voice. Rey’s voice echoed out from the trees.

I skidded in the snow and whirled around, looking for her.

“Rey? Rey where are you!?” I screamed.

Again her ghostly voice reached him, “Ben I’m sorry, I can’t stop!”

“Stop what? What’s happened, where are you?” I started towards the forest, pushing against the looming trees that felt like penitent fences closing in on me. The darkness kept growing, drowning out the sound of Rey’s pleas and my shouts until there was nothing but silence.

My eyes opened.

“Rey!” I gasped out, waking from the nightmare with a shock.

I choked on my words, coughing up smoke still hiding in my throat. All my senses were heightened to the extreme in the unfamiliar location. The last thing I remember was looking up into Rey’s eyes on the Supreme Leader’s ship and begging her not to…

My stomach flipped as I slowly looked down towards my arm. My nerves were screaming while I remained still, bordering on hyperventilating at the sight of the missing arm. It was like I could still feel it. As if there were some kind of phantom limb still connected to the split shoulder bones.

I needed to find out what had happened. Was Rey okay? And… where was I?

No, from the porthole by the corner and the dusty marks on the walls I knew exactly where I was. It was the old storage closet I would always hide in as a child whenever Leia and Han were caught in one of their fights. Chewie would always coax me out afterwards, bringing me to the hub and playing Dejarik with me to calm my nerves. It seemed after the years I’ve been away it had been made into a spare room.

From the hub outside I could hear loud chatter, possibly several people all crowded around inside. With a painful grunt I swung my legs over the bunk, pulling myself towards the door and groping the wall with my one remaining hand. I needed to find Rey.

Just as I reached the doorway someone pulled it open for me, and I was met face to face with the defected trooper from the village. FN-2187.

Someone had paused time between the two of us, as recognition and fear slowly spread across the trooper’s face. I couldn’t understand what was going on. What had happened while I was unconcious? The last few hours were a disgusting haze for me, as if the memories had seeped through my skin with the pints of blood.

One by one every face in the room turned to me and a hush fell over the foyer. From the tattered emblems sown onto some of their jackets, I guessed these must be the rebel fighters. FN’s eyes went wide with anger and a tremor raced through his hands; leaving him scrambling for the blaster at his belt. Standing upright was a challenge, and there was so way I could take on thirty armed rebels like this, and I was left terrified. That is, until Rey rushed between the two of us, her hands outstretched in front of me. She was like a wild creature protecting her kill, and everyone in the room saw me as their fresh meat.

“Rey, what-“ FN exclaimed, the blaster still pointed between my eyes.

The scavenger didn’t back down, walking towards her comrade slowly, “Finn, you need to put the gun down now.”

“Are you… Are you protecting him!?” He shouted, and two other rebels walked towards us both with their weapons raised.

Rey snapped, fear radiating between the opposing forces, “Yes but Finn you don’t understand, he-“

“Traitor!” One of the rebels, a pilot who must’ve been no older than sixteen yelled, to which other members of the faction murmured in agreement.

“No, you need to listen to me! He’s not out enemy, you can’t hurt him!” She defended me still, moving backwards. This was bad. Fear was spreading through the rebel ranks, leading more and more defectors to draw their weapons towards Rey’s head.

I weakly grabbed Rey’s shoulder, “Rey, you shouldn-“

“Get your hands off of her!” FN shouted, shoving towards me. Rey pushed him backwards, a fierce ambition to protect me blazing in her irises. I couldn’t let her do this. She was going to get killed if I didn’t do something.

“Finn you need to calm down,” the scavenger said slowly, taking a hesitant move towards FN.

He in turn shook his head, his eyes wild like a mad dog’s. “Do you remember what he did to us in the forest!? How is he even here? And godsdamnit, Rey! Why are you protecting him?!”

“He killed Snoke!” Rey shouted, and a hush fell over the room.

Pilots and fighters looked to each other with wide eyes, a few of them even began lowering their guns.

“And he told you that?” FN asked, his grip tightening on the blaster.

Rey sighed, moving closer towards her friend, “Finn, he didn’t tell me anything, I saw it with my own two eyes. He saved my life. Snoke ordered Kylo to kill me but he turned. If it wasn’t for Kylo Ren I wouldn’t be standing here now,” she leaned closer and wrapped her hand around the blaster, pulling it towards the ground, “He paid for it, Finn you have to believe me. Please put down the blaster.”

FN looked back at me, catching sight of the loose bandages wrapped around my limbless sleeve. His mouth parted in shock, and slowly sheathed the gun back in his belt. The rest of the rebel forces slowly did the same.

Finally FN talked to me without a threat, nodding his head towards my arm, “…How did it happen?”

I kept my mouth shut and looked towards the ground. Even if I wanted to answer his question I'm sure I would choke on my words. It didn't take a link between us for Rey to read the tension in the room. She grabbed hold of my gloved hand, squeezing reassuringly as if to tell me everything would turn out alright. "It's a long story, Finn. I promise I'll explain everything soon but you'll have to trust me until then. Okay?"

Won over by her pleading eyes, FN and the other rebels were put at ease. Or at the very least they had granted Rey and I some kind of truce. It wasn't much but it at least bought us time. As their accusatory glares faded Rey pushed me back into the makeshift bedroom.

The dim light shone down on us as helped me over to collapse on the dingy mattress.

“I was hoping you would’ve stayed unconscious longer,” she murmured, a soft smile of relief fluttering on her lips.

I scoffed, looking towards the door, “I won’t apologize. Besides, I didn’t know you had brought your rebel friends on board the falcon,”

Rey’s eyes became significantly sadder, turning away from me, “Ben, these are the only ones who survived the First Order’s massacre.”

“Oh… I’m- uh, sorry,” I stumbled but she shook her head.

“Don’t be. It wasn’t your fault. You weren’t the one blowing our ships out of the sky,” Rey stood up from the bed, walking over to the drawers and retrieving what appeared to be a cloth and some fresh bandages. “you were too busy bleeding out.”

The scavenger kneeled beside me, the mattress dipping under her weight as she leaned closer to the patchwork on my arm. She began unfurling the cloth and replacing it was a neat frame, no doubt learned from her years spent on Jakku. She was content and quiet, the tip of her tongue poking from her lips in concentration. Her calloused hands worked wonders on the wound, her brows furrowed as she worked. A diluted amber from the ceiling light filtered through her brunette hair. I couldn’t help but take in every detail. It was a pleasant distraction from the pain ebbing through what was left of my shoulder.

“Rey…” I whispered, trying to form a coherent sentence. What she said before got stuck in my head. “you were too busy bleeding out.” I was dying. She could have easily finished me off and been done with me, or simply leave me to succumb to the blood loss.

“Why didn’t you leave me behind?” Rey paused, leaving the last knot loose for a moment before answering. Tying the strings together, she looked up at me, her face as close to mine as it was in the elevator a few hours ago.

“I told you before, didn’t I? I can help you, Ben. I wouldn’t leave you to die. Not after what happened.” She said, no trace of doubt left in her voice.

I scoffed, thinking back to the throne room. “So I saved your life, you saved mine. I guess that makes us even.”

Warmth spread through my chest when she smiled at me. “Not the throne room. That night in the hut,” she recounted the memory fondly, and I couldn’t blame her. The snap of the fire echoing through the bond as we talked. It had been the safest I felt since I was a kid, running around the Falcon with Han and Chewie. “when we saw each others futures I saw us. It was so bright… and you and I were…” she trailed on, having difficulties stringing words to what she witnessed between us.

An idea came to mind, and I shifted my weight, holding out my hand towards her. She eyed the gloved hand cautiously and I knew she had the same idea.

She pinched her fingers around the hem of the glove, pulling it away and tossing it beside the bunk. A heavy weight crept its way down my spine as our hands clasped together. My breath was taken away as the burden spread through my skin, lifting away once it trailed down to my digits.

When I opened my eyes the grey walls of the falcon dripped away like wax to make way for an almost blinding scene to take its place. I could see Rey and I, dressed in similar off-white training clothes, sparring together on a field much like Takodana. Warm sunlight shone down on us as we fought, but there wasn’t any starved fear in our eyes like the forest, we weren’t motivated by anger or desperation. Instead we were happy. Playfully smiling as we dodged each other’s wooden staffs. Behind us, I could see a couple kids watching on, placing bets on which of their teachers would win the match. Were they padawans?

“Can you see it?” Rey glowed, her voice distant even though she was still right in front of me.

“Yeah…” I was breathless, too lost in Rey’s vision. “I thought that night we both saw the same thing, but I guess I was wrong.”

Almost in another reality, her grip moved against mine as she ran her thumb against my wrist. “Can you show me what you saw?”

Thinking back to that night on Ach-to wasn’t hard. I had been replaying the dream in my head every waking moment since then. It felt like the moment between us was weeks ago when it was only yesterday.

My eyes glazed over as the scene shifted, the yellows and greens of Rey’s vision turned to black. I saw us together standing on a balcony overseeing a crowd of people. The night sky above us swirled with violent currents and dotted with stars that shone for us. I was wearing dark robes with no need for a saber at my belt. Rey… was a queen. My queen. She was draped in an extravagant silver dress that spilled out across the stone like mercury and adorned her limbs with flowing porcelain fabrics. Placed on our heads were two imposing crowns, one white and the other black, identical in all but color. Rey was smiling at me with overwhelming love and pride. The shine in her eyes put the stars above to shame. In the vision we were holding hands, and our own world paralleled my fiction once more.

Rey slowly let go of my hand, holding it to her chest. The fantasy burned away and I found myself back in the falcon, face to face with the scavenger girl I had left my life behind for.

“Ben?” the girl asked without looking away from me. I hummed in acknowledgement. “I don’t think either of those visions will come true.”

“I know.” I whispered as Rey moved closer to me. My eyes flickered down to her lips for a moment and my heart began beating out of my chest so hard it’s a wonder she didn’t hear it. Maybe she did. The scavenger must’ve noticed the rhythm as she raised her hand near the exposed scar she inflicted down my face, leaving the point of her nail to weave down the jagged skin. My nerves were frayed at the ends like exposed wires, with every instinct in my body telling me to push forward and kiss her, but I couldn’t. Her kind eyes had me bolted to the mattress.

Rey followed the scar to my cheek and tucked a loose strand of dark hair behind my ear. “But maybe we can reach some kind of middle ground, you know?”

I offered her a soft smile and thought of all the meaningful ways I should respond to her proposal, all the words that had gone unsaid between us. All the time I bit my tongue to keep from spilling my guts out to this scavenger from Jakku. All of the words caught in my throat, leaving only a simple, “Okay,” before our lips collided and everything else outside this room could be forgotten.


End file.
